*SHAME SHAME!*
As I am feeling a little "Stacy London" today, here is my little homage to the always entertaining before and after make-over shows. (aside: Who knew Stacy London has a Wikipedia page? I want a Wikipedia page! Nothing says "Nearly-accurate-pseudo-truth-errors-of-omission-don't-count-as-lies" like Wikipedia!)
BEFORE
"Darling! No! No no no! LOOK what you have done to the shape of your feet! Do you see that? All that extra POOF makes your legs look short and stubby. You're a purebred? Honey, with feet like that I wouldn't even call you a hybrid!*"
AFTER
"SHUT UP! You look HOT! The cut flatters your figure perfectly. And LOOK at those toes!"
Yes, I realize that Gio's toe nails are too long. Dog toe nails should not be that long, so don't take that as an example of how to keep toe nails. His quicks grow insanely fast, and even with cutting his nails every 3 days, it is taking forever to get them back to where they should be.
In an unrelated story, rice crackers make Romeo turn into a savage beast.
It starts out innocent enough.
"Mama, please may I have some rice cracker?"
One given a small taste of rice cracker, the beast within stirs ...
And before you know it, you have a full-fledged Werewolf on your hands!^
Gio, on the other hand, believes chewing is for losers.
"Chewing takes up precious swallowing time"
* Note, comments made in this blog post are for the purposes of entertainment only. I hold no dislike towards mixed breed dogs. It was a joke, just laugh already. As for "hybrids", you're not fooling anyone. Love your dog for that wonderful mutt that it is. You don't need a fancy name for the type of dog that you have. Your dog is special because you love it as much as you do. You don't need any more than that.
^ ETA: Concern has been expressed from "Grandma" about how I got Romeo to bare his teeth. That is actually how he chews rice crackers. I have never seen him chew anything else in that manner, but apparently the hard rice crackers require full gum exposure. So not to worry, wee Romeo was not tormented or manipulated in any way to get him to be vicious. Rather, I just had to find the right food and TA-DA "Insta-Beastie"!
BEFORE
"Darling! No! No no no! LOOK what you have done to the shape of your feet! Do you see that? All that extra POOF makes your legs look short and stubby. You're a purebred? Honey, with feet like that I wouldn't even call you a hybrid!*" AFTER
"SHUT UP! You look HOT! The cut flatters your figure perfectly. And LOOK at those toes!" Yes, I realize that Gio's toe nails are too long. Dog toe nails should not be that long, so don't take that as an example of how to keep toe nails. His quicks grow insanely fast, and even with cutting his nails every 3 days, it is taking forever to get them back to where they should be.
In an unrelated story, rice crackers make Romeo turn into a savage beast.
It starts out innocent enough."Mama, please may I have some rice cracker?"
One given a small taste of rice cracker, the beast within stirs ... 
And before you know it, you have a full-fledged Werewolf on your hands!^
Gio, on the other hand, believes chewing is for losers. "Chewing takes up precious swallowing time"
* Note, comments made in this blog post are for the purposes of entertainment only. I hold no dislike towards mixed breed dogs. It was a joke, just laugh already. As for "hybrids", you're not fooling anyone. Love your dog for that wonderful mutt that it is. You don't need a fancy name for the type of dog that you have. Your dog is special because you love it as much as you do. You don't need any more than that.
^ ETA: Concern has been expressed from "Grandma" about how I got Romeo to bare his teeth. That is actually how he chews rice crackers. I have never seen him chew anything else in that manner, but apparently the hard rice crackers require full gum exposure. So not to worry, wee Romeo was not tormented or manipulated in any way to get him to be vicious. Rather, I just had to find the right food and TA-DA "Insta-Beastie"!
6 comments:
crap, that reminds me, i have to trim Kaleb's hobbit feet, you should see his, i could make a coat with the hair i trim each time!!!
Hi Guys
Wow!!!! Your blog has been awesome this last week, what fantastic information. I have sent your blog addy to my breeder and she has a three month old sheltie that is having seisures.
We've had a pedicure today, too. Yours still look nicer than ours, though...
Josh and Jess
Gio and Romeo, Your mom is just too funny!
Good grief, I took a look at Zoe's feet and they make Gio and Romeo's look wonderful! Time to get to trimming...
LOL! Very entertaining. We won't talk about how poorly my feet are kept by the 2-legger. And, of course we weren't offended.
Post a Comment